why does facebook chat only work when my message contains the words Mark Zuckerburg right now
What if they throw Simon a birthday party and instead of buying him things they give him things if his that he left behind when he lost his memory in the hopes that these tangible things will spark his memory.
Aries: I’m better than all of you assholes
Taurus: I could eat some cake right now.
Gemini: I’m going to pretend I care about what you just said
Cancer: I need hugs and cookies.
Leo: Fuck u bitch I’m fabulous, bow down to me.
Virgo: You’re all uncultered swines.
Libra: Stop war hug more
Scorpio: I tired of your bullshit, I just wanna sleep
Sagittarius: I wanna fuck your girlfriend
Capricorn: Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Aquarius: I’m hot and gay.
Pisces: Fuck my life.
get to know me meme: [1/5] favorite tv shows → Friends.
"It’s about sex, love, relationships, careers, a time in your life when everything’s possible. And it’s about friendship because when you’re single and in the city, your friends are your family." — The original treatment used by Crane, Kauffman and Bright to pitch the series to NBC.
two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”.
this literally took me forever to get
it infuriates me when people tell me “lifes too short to not forgive people!” like NO lifes too short for me to continually allow abusive and manipulative behavior in my life and live in a constant state of anxiety bc I want to be “nice” or whatever
#do no harm but take no shit
Be careful, Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread.
[AGGRESSIVELY APOLOGIZES FOR BEING A BAD FRIEND AND AN UNPLEASANT PERSON TO BE AROUND]